Every parent’s worst nightmare is their child going missing. Whether it’s in a park, at the zoo, in a shopping mall, or just a few steps ahead on a busy street—those moments of disconnection are terrifying. And for the child? Confusing. Overwhelming. Paralyzing.

We teach our kids to never talk to strangers, but what happens when everyone around them is a stranger and they need help now? If we don’t give children clear, practical strategies for situations like these, we may be setting them up to freeze in fear instead of getting the help they need.

The solution isn’t paranoia—it’s empowerment. With just a few memorable cues, you can teach your child how to recognize safe spaces and helpful people.

The Story That Inspired This Lesson:
Years ago, while protecting a public figure and their family in New York City, we encountered a mother in Central Park who had lost her daughter. After a frantic search and coordination with the NYPD, the girl was eventually found sitting alone on a bench—scared, but unharmed. When asked why she didn’t ask anyone for help, her heartbreaking answer was:
“Because you told me never to talk to strangers. Everyone was a stranger.”

That moment changed how I think about child safety. We can’t just teach kids what to fear—we must teach them what to do.

Stranger Danger Is A One-Way Street
Children have a difficult time understanding the concept of nuance. Stranger danger is one of those catchy rhymes that both sounds good and is easy to remember, but it really does more harm than good. If your child is separated from you but requires immediate help, they need to know they have the right to participate in their own protection.

What we should really be saying is, “Stranger danger is a one-­ way street.” While it is wildly inappropriate for an adult to ask a child for help, it is perfectly acceptable for a child to ask an adult for help. The world is full of good, decent, hard-working people who will do almost anything to help a young child in obvious need. Now, if a man in a van says that he has lost his puppy and needs help to find him, that is not okay.

But if your child is alone and afraid, they should know that it is okay to get help from strangers. What you do not want is for your child to have an emergency where no one they know is around to help and they don’t know what to do. How can children know which adults are okay to ask for help and which adults are not okay?

The Three Fs: Who Your Child Can Turn to For Help

🥨 FOOD
If your child is ever alone and unsure who to trust, look for someone associated with food.

• Restaurant staff

• Food cart vendors

• Snack stand operators

Why? These individuals are background-checked, licensed, and generally vetted by the city. They're used to dealing with the public and are often located in high-visibility areas. Plus, they love good press—helping a lost child is a story that will look great on social media..

🇺🇸 FLAGS
Teach your child to look for uniforms or buildings with American flags.

• Police officers

• Firefighters

• Postal workers

• Libraries, schools, or government buildings

The flag is a symbol of trust. It means accountability. It signals that the person or place is part of something official—and therefore safe.

🧑‍🧒‍🧒 FAMILIES
A child with an adult is safer than a lone adult.

• Parents with young kids

• Groups of families

• A mom pushing a stroller

These people are more likely to be empathetic and protective. Kids know instinctively that other kids mean safety. Teach your child: if you see another kid, go to them.

Final Word:
We can’t shield our children from every risk, but we can equip them to face the world with clarity and courage. Giving them simple, actionable tools ensures that if they’re ever lost, they won’t just be afraid—they’ll know exactly what to do next.