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When a Stranger’s Stare Becomes a Threat
Why Situational Awareness Is Your First Line of Defense
Spencer Coursen
September 15, 2025
A Single Mother’s Situation
“While sitting in a café with a friend and my daughter, I had one of those unsettling moments that make your instincts kick into overdrive. A man sat down directly next to us and, instead of facing his own table, kept his body positioned toward us. He didn’t break eye contact, and every movement seemed tethered to our presence. I kept my daughter within arm’s reach, acutely aware of the two doors that could provide a quick exit if he made a move.
When we left, he followed us out, which was super creepy, but then he turned and walked over to a motorcycle. I was so glad we didn’t drive because I felt like he might to try follow us. When we walked out of the parking lot and turned right, he did too, but then he kept going. It still totally creeps me out thinking about it.”
Was this a coincidence? Maybe.
Was this an awkward man who didn’t know how to act normally in the presence of an attractive woman? Likely.
Was she being targeted? Possibly.
But ignoring red flags is not a luxury anyone should afford.
Reclaiming your instincts can be a radical form of self protection.
Why This Matters
Predators thrive in the spaces where people assume “it won’t happen to me.” After speaking at CrimeCon this year, one insight became crystal clear: targeted violence thrives at the intersection of three factors—isolation, predictability, and a false sense of security.
Isolation makes you vulnerable.
Predictability makes you easy to find and follow.
A false sense of safety makes you lower your guard.
The truth is, being surrounded by people doesn’t guarantee safety—just ask any high-profile figure who has been attacked despite adoring crowds. Safety is not about popularity or presence; it’s about preparation and awareness.
Final Thought
Safety isn’t about living in fear—it’s about living prepared. Predators look for easy targets. By staying aware, breaking patterns of predictability, and trusting your instincts, you drastically reduce the chances of being one.
Live smart. Stay safe.
Five Protective Strategies You Can Employ Today:
1. Trust Your Gut
Discomfort is data. If something feels off, it usually is. Don’t dismiss that inner voice telling you to stay alert.
2. Control Your Space
Keep loved ones—especially children—within reach in public settings. Position yourself where you can monitor exits and movement.
3. Break Predictability
Vary your routes, routines, and seating choices. Unpredictability makes it harder for someone to anticipate your actions..
4. Stay in the Flow of Safety
When leaving a location, choose well-lit, populated paths. If you sense you’re being followed, head toward busy streets or safe havens like stores, not isolated shortcuts.
5. Have an Exit Strategy
Before you sit down, ask yourself: If I had to leave in a hurry, how would I do it? A simple plan in mind can buy you critical seconds if something escalates.
Disagree with anything? Hit reply—I always read your responses.
Live Smart. Stay Safe.
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